Eighteen years ago today my mother married my stepfather, Bill. I was ten years old - yes, that makes me 28. Interestingly, the age my mother was when they wed.
It was really hard for us at first, and honestly it was hard for us the whole eight years I lived with them, but I have some reflections I'd like to make.
Bill willingly took on a 28-year-old woman and her 10-year-old daughter. I wasn't born to him. He didn't have to accept the challenge of raising me. He wasn't obligated by duty, or responsibility. But he chose to be my father.
To me that means so much more than a man who is bound to me by blood. Bill is bound to me by heart. I have so much respect for that decision alone, but my respect for him is compounded by the amount of time, effort, and energy he put into raising me. Granted, he may not have always chosen the best strategies, but what parent gets it right every time.
I know he still beats himself up for the ways he handled some challenges, but it isn't like he had ten years to prepare for adolescence and build a relationship with me. I think his situation was particularly challenging and diffcult and I, in retrospect from an adult perspective, think he did an admirable job.
And my poor mother. Always torn between her husband and daughter. As an adult, I now know this is actually a very normal situation for mothers of daughters to be in during the teen years. I've seen it time and time again around me. It's nice to know that my family wasn't disfunctional afterall.
My mother was so young when I was born. It really freaks me out to know that I could have a ten-year-old at my age. I have so much respect for her. She sacrificed and worked so hard to provide a secure, loving home for me.
I'm reflecting on their marriage, though. I'll have to do a mom-centric post another time.
Ten years out of their home, it's still *home*. I walk in and feel instantly more peaceful and at ease. I miss being there, I miss my room, I miss my parents.
Ten years out of their home, I'm an adult with views and beliefs - most of which are shared with them.
Ten years out of their home, I'm a mother. And I feel the overwhelming love and frustration of parenting a little person with a mind and heart of their own.
Ten years out of their home, I'm a wife, a college graduate, a teacher, a Christian, a homemaker, and a conservative.
Ten years out of their home, I'm thankful. For the long days and long nights with me, with each other. I'm thankful because I like who I am, and I know that who I am is directly correlated with who they are - as individuals and as a couple. I'm proud to be Mom's daughter, and I'm proud to be Bill's daughter. I like to think they're proud to claim me.
I love them so much more, each year, as I learn more about life and families and children and marriage.
This is a poorly written attempt at putting what I feel about my parents into a few short sentences.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
15 Months
Gabriel,
One and one quarter years old.
Stats
You had a doctor's appointment just last week. You weighed 21.6 pounds and were 30.5" long - the 30th percentile for each. She said your language development is that of an 18-22 month-old. Impressive! Still in 12-18 month clothes plus a new addition to your wardrobe: shoes! :)
Sleeping
You sleep very consistently these days. A nap between 2:00-4:00 pm ranging from thirty mintues to two hours depending on the morning and your waking time.
You go down for bed at night following a bath and book time with Daddy around 9:00 pm. You'll usually sleep until 1:00 am, then wake again at least once more between 1:00 and 7:00 am. You'll wake at 7:00 am and go back down until 9:00 or 10:00. Typically you wake right at 9:00, but some days you'll sleep until 10:00!
Eating
You nurse three times a day: when you wake up (you like a slow start to your day), at nap, and before bed. Then, usually, only once overnight, unless Daddy has as hard time getting you back down from a waking.
You've developed preferences with food. You generally don't like veggies, which stresses this little mama out, and you're picky and inconsistent about fruits. You love grains (rice, bread, cereals, pasta) and dairy (yogurt, milk, ice cream, cheese) and beans. You'll try anything, but if you don't like it, you'll spit it out!
Milestones
Speech
You're an exceptional talker. The number of words you know is too long to count. You'll try to repeat anything and you'll usually succeed pretty clearly. Some things are only obvious in context. Some of your favorite words: Mama, Dada, milk (muk), ice cream (ah-heem), all clean (ah-keen), ball, catch (cech), roll, throw (thow), book, and dog, Rocky, Rock. Also, you love to say walk (wok)! You're favorite speech trick right now is to walk up to people and put your arms up and say, "Up!" I think you're testing them to see if they'll respond to you. You use articles - it's not just "ball," it's "a ball" or "the ball". You've also started using phrases. "Play ball!" (Pay ball!) "Dada throw!" "Mama up!" "Throw the ball!" You*just* started using "sentences". Example: "Deedle deedle dee ball." "Wadow wadow walk." You say these like they're real sentences and look at me like I should be able to actually understand you. Perhaps this is what I sound like to you? You only pick up the words you know? Lastly, you've started naming places - "home" has a distinct name. Church is "Nenenee" which is the name of your church teacher, Stephanie. :)
Walking
Suddenly, you're mobile. You started walking right around your fourteen month birthday and haven't stopped since. You began by doing bear-crawls and it slowly grew to wobbly steps. Now you're super sure on your feet and prefer walking to any other method of locomotion. You began really walking over July 4th weekend at Grandma and Papa Chambers' house.
Teething
You haven't gained any new teeth, but are currently working on one of your molars.
Major Events
Mommy turned 28 and Daddy turned 27 in June. We went to Oklahoma for Father's Day, then again for the 4th of July. Speaking of Independence Day, you loved the fireworks, but insisted on nursing the whole show.
You've been spending time with baby-sitters a lot more and handle it very well. Just this last week you experienced your first vacation Bible school - Colossal Coaster World, where you stayed with Stephanie for two and half hours every evening! It was a long week for everyone.
In the upcoming months, we have to look forward to Mommy and Daddy's fifth anniversary, some vacations and trips to Oklahoma, starting Mother's Day Out school, and starting back to Bible Study Fellowship. I expect to stop going to Gymboree once all that starts again. It's too expensive to go to Gymboree and MDO, and we just don't have enough time in the week to do both. I hope you don't miss Gymboree too much. I'll have to do a whole post about how great that experience has been for both of us.
I love you, Gabriel. You're so smart, strong, silly, and sweet. You're my favorite baby.
Mommy
One and one quarter years old.
Stats
You had a doctor's appointment just last week. You weighed 21.6 pounds and were 30.5" long - the 30th percentile for each. She said your language development is that of an 18-22 month-old. Impressive! Still in 12-18 month clothes plus a new addition to your wardrobe: shoes! :)
Sleeping
You sleep very consistently these days. A nap between 2:00-4:00 pm ranging from thirty mintues to two hours depending on the morning and your waking time.
You go down for bed at night following a bath and book time with Daddy around 9:00 pm. You'll usually sleep until 1:00 am, then wake again at least once more between 1:00 and 7:00 am. You'll wake at 7:00 am and go back down until 9:00 or 10:00. Typically you wake right at 9:00, but some days you'll sleep until 10:00!
Eating
You nurse three times a day: when you wake up (you like a slow start to your day), at nap, and before bed. Then, usually, only once overnight, unless Daddy has as hard time getting you back down from a waking.
You've developed preferences with food. You generally don't like veggies, which stresses this little mama out, and you're picky and inconsistent about fruits. You love grains (rice, bread, cereals, pasta) and dairy (yogurt, milk, ice cream, cheese) and beans. You'll try anything, but if you don't like it, you'll spit it out!
Milestones
Speech
You're an exceptional talker. The number of words you know is too long to count. You'll try to repeat anything and you'll usually succeed pretty clearly. Some things are only obvious in context. Some of your favorite words: Mama, Dada, milk (muk), ice cream (ah-heem), all clean (ah-keen), ball, catch (cech), roll, throw (thow), book, and dog, Rocky, Rock. Also, you love to say walk (wok)! You're favorite speech trick right now is to walk up to people and put your arms up and say, "Up!" I think you're testing them to see if they'll respond to you. You use articles - it's not just "ball," it's "a ball" or "the ball". You've also started using phrases. "Play ball!" (Pay ball!) "Dada throw!" "Mama up!" "Throw the ball!" You*just* started using "sentences". Example: "Deedle deedle dee ball." "Wadow wadow walk." You say these like they're real sentences and look at me like I should be able to actually understand you. Perhaps this is what I sound like to you? You only pick up the words you know? Lastly, you've started naming places - "home" has a distinct name. Church is "Nenenee" which is the name of your church teacher, Stephanie. :)
Walking
Suddenly, you're mobile. You started walking right around your fourteen month birthday and haven't stopped since. You began by doing bear-crawls and it slowly grew to wobbly steps. Now you're super sure on your feet and prefer walking to any other method of locomotion. You began really walking over July 4th weekend at Grandma and Papa Chambers' house.
Teething
You haven't gained any new teeth, but are currently working on one of your molars.
Major Events
Mommy turned 28 and Daddy turned 27 in June. We went to Oklahoma for Father's Day, then again for the 4th of July. Speaking of Independence Day, you loved the fireworks, but insisted on nursing the whole show.
You've been spending time with baby-sitters a lot more and handle it very well. Just this last week you experienced your first vacation Bible school - Colossal Coaster World, where you stayed with Stephanie for two and half hours every evening! It was a long week for everyone.
In the upcoming months, we have to look forward to Mommy and Daddy's fifth anniversary, some vacations and trips to Oklahoma, starting Mother's Day Out school, and starting back to Bible Study Fellowship. I expect to stop going to Gymboree once all that starts again. It's too expensive to go to Gymboree and MDO, and we just don't have enough time in the week to do both. I hope you don't miss Gymboree too much. I'll have to do a whole post about how great that experience has been for both of us.
I love you, Gabriel. You're so smart, strong, silly, and sweet. You're my favorite baby.
Mommy
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