Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Reflecting on the Last Eighteen Years

Eighteen years ago today my mother married my stepfather, Bill. I was ten years old - yes, that makes me 28. Interestingly, the age my mother was when they wed.
It was really hard for us at first, and honestly it was hard for us the whole eight years I lived with them, but I have some reflections I'd like to make.
Bill willingly took on a 28-year-old woman and her 10-year-old daughter. I wasn't born to him. He didn't have to accept the challenge of raising me. He wasn't obligated by duty, or responsibility. But he chose to be my father.
To me that means so much more than a man who is bound to me by blood. Bill is bound to me by heart. I have so much respect for that decision alone, but my respect for him is compounded by the amount of time, effort, and energy he put into raising me. Granted, he may not have always chosen the best strategies, but what parent gets it right every time.
I know he still beats himself up for the ways he handled some challenges, but it isn't like he had ten years to prepare for adolescence and build a relationship with me. I think his situation was particularly challenging and diffcult and I, in retrospect from an adult perspective, think he did an admirable job.
And my poor mother. Always torn between her husband and daughter. As an adult, I now know this is actually a very normal situation for mothers of daughters to be in during the teen years. I've seen it time and time again around me. It's nice to know that my family wasn't disfunctional afterall.
My mother was so young when I was born. It really freaks me out to know that I could have a ten-year-old at my age. I have so much respect for her. She sacrificed and worked so hard to provide a secure, loving home for me.
I'm reflecting on their marriage, though. I'll have to do a mom-centric post another time.
Ten years out of their home, it's still *home*. I walk in and feel instantly more peaceful and at ease. I miss being there, I miss my room, I miss my parents.
Ten years out of their home, I'm an adult with views and beliefs - most of which are shared with them.
Ten years out of their home, I'm a mother. And I feel the overwhelming love and frustration of parenting a little person with a mind and heart of their own.
Ten years out of their home, I'm a wife, a college graduate, a teacher, a Christian, a homemaker, and a conservative.
Ten years out of their home, I'm thankful. For the long days and long nights with me, with each other. I'm thankful because I like who I am, and I know that who I am is directly correlated with who they are - as individuals and as a couple. I'm proud to be Mom's daughter, and I'm proud to be Bill's daughter. I like to think they're proud to claim me.
I love them so much more, each year, as I learn more about life and families and children and marriage.

This is a poorly written attempt at putting what I feel about my parents into a few short sentences.

15 Months

Gabriel,

One and one quarter years old.

Stats
You had a doctor's appointment just last week. You weighed 21.6 pounds and were 30.5" long - the 30th percentile for each. She said your language development is that of an 18-22 month-old. Impressive! Still in 12-18 month clothes plus a new addition to your wardrobe: shoes! :)

Sleeping
You sleep very consistently these days. A nap between 2:00-4:00 pm ranging from thirty mintues to two hours depending on the morning and your waking time.
You go down for bed at night following a bath and book time with Daddy around 9:00 pm. You'll usually sleep until 1:00 am, then wake again at least once more between 1:00 and 7:00 am. You'll wake at 7:00 am and go back down until 9:00 or 10:00. Typically you wake right at 9:00, but some days you'll sleep until 10:00!

Eating
You nurse three times a day: when you wake up (you like a slow start to your day), at nap, and before bed. Then, usually, only once overnight, unless Daddy has as hard time getting you back down from a waking.
You've developed preferences with food. You generally don't like veggies, which stresses this little mama out, and you're picky and inconsistent about fruits. You love grains (rice, bread, cereals, pasta) and dairy (yogurt, milk, ice cream, cheese) and beans. You'll try anything, but if you don't like it, you'll spit it out!

Milestones
Speech
You're an exceptional talker. The number of words you know is too long to count. You'll try to repeat anything and you'll usually succeed pretty clearly. Some things are only obvious in context. Some of your favorite words: Mama, Dada, milk (muk), ice cream (ah-heem), all clean (ah-keen), ball, catch (cech), roll, throw (thow), book, and dog, Rocky, Rock. Also, you love to say walk (wok)! You're favorite speech trick right now is to walk up to people and put your arms up and say, "Up!" I think you're testing them to see if they'll respond to you. You use articles - it's not just "ball," it's "a ball" or "the ball". You've also started using phrases. "Play ball!" (Pay ball!) "Dada throw!" "Mama up!" "Throw the ball!" You*just* started using "sentences". Example: "Deedle deedle dee ball." "Wadow wadow walk." You say these like they're real sentences and look at me like I should be able to actually understand you. Perhaps this is what I sound like to you? You only pick up the words you know? Lastly, you've started naming places - "home" has a distinct name. Church is "Nenenee" which is the name of your church teacher, Stephanie. :)

Walking
Suddenly, you're mobile. You started walking right around your fourteen month birthday and haven't stopped since. You began by doing bear-crawls and it slowly grew to wobbly steps. Now you're super sure on your feet and prefer walking to any other method of locomotion. You began really walking over July 4th weekend at Grandma and Papa Chambers' house.

Teething
You haven't gained any new teeth, but are currently working on one of your molars.

Major Events
Mommy turned 28 and Daddy turned 27 in June. We went to Oklahoma for Father's Day, then again for the 4th of July. Speaking of Independence Day, you loved the fireworks, but insisted on nursing the whole show.
You've been spending time with baby-sitters a lot more and handle it very well. Just this last week you experienced your first vacation Bible school - Colossal Coaster World, where you stayed with Stephanie for two and half hours every evening! It was a long week for everyone.

In the upcoming months, we have to look forward to Mommy and Daddy's fifth anniversary, some vacations and trips to Oklahoma, starting Mother's Day Out school, and starting back to Bible Study Fellowship. I expect to stop going to Gymboree once all that starts again. It's too expensive to go to Gymboree and MDO, and we just don't have enough time in the week to do both. I hope you don't miss Gymboree too much. I'll have to do a whole post about how great that experience has been for both of us.

I love you, Gabriel. You're so smart, strong, silly, and sweet. You're my favorite baby.
Mommy

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

One Year!

Gabriel,

It's so hard to believe that one year ago we were struggling through the first weeks of your life. I do wish I had done some sort of series about the time leading up to and immediately following your birth and I still might do some sort of post reminiscing about such times, but for now this will have to do. You're so hard to keep up with now...hardly any downtime. :)

Stats
Sometime soon you should be seeing Dr. Thomas for your one year checkup. I'll know more about your height and weight following the appointment.
You are on the cusp between 9-12 month clothes and 12-18 month clothes.

Sleep
You are on a very consistent sleep schedule. You wake between 7:30 and 8:30, with a few late mornings thrown in for mercy's sake. Sometimes you'll nap in the morning, but rarely anymore. You always nap between 1:00 and 3:00 until between 2:00 and 4:00. Some days you nap a little later. Your bedtime is always between 7:30 and 8:30 - sometimes later or earlier depending upon the day's activities. You always always wake between 10:30 and 11:30. That's usually right around the time we're laying down to go to bed.
Life got a lot easier when you went to bed earlier and we were able to have some time to ourselves to be adults after you went to bed.
I want to reiterate that we had nothing to do with your current sleep schedule. You fell into this schedule on your own and it just so happens to match up with the "suggested one year old sleep schedule". I do not believe in baby sleep training.

Eating
I'd say, at this point, you eat as much solids as you nurse. You are beginning to express discerning tastes. You hate carrots, raw or cooked. You've decided you love bananas and joyfully say, "Banenonenoneno!"

Milestones
Speech
You talk all the time and are learning new words every day! Your vocabuarly is estimated to be at around 50 words.
Walking
You are not at all interested in walking and it's so funny! We try to finger walk you, and you sit or are dragged. You will stand inadvertently. It's so cute. I'm not ready for you to walk and am glad you're slow to walk.
Teeth
You gained one more tooth! Your upper tooth to the left of your two front teeth is just barely visible.

Major Events
We celebrated your first birthday! We hosted a party for you at Papa and Grandma Chambers' house. It was very fun. You didn't smash your cake - you ate it! We will be having another birthday party for you this weekend here in San Antonio.

I will be writing a reflection post soon reflecting on your birth one year later. :)
I love you, son.
Mommy

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Eleven Months

Dear Gabey,

I cannot believe you are eleven months old! My, how the time is just flying by. Of course, since I missed your ten month post, this will be a combined ten and eleven month update. I'm sorry for that.

Stats
You have leveled out in weight gain and I'll know more about your updated weight and height after your one year checkup. You are still wearing 6-9 month clothing, but it is getting a little snug on you around your waist and in length.

Sleep
The past couple of months have been incredible for sleep! Your schedule is very predictable. You go to bed every night between 8:00 and 9:00, usually around 8:30. You'll sleep typically until at least 1:00, but you've gone as long as until 3:00! Then the night gets a little rough. I nurse you down and sometimes you'll stay down for another three hours, but sometimes you'll start waking every hour.
Your naps are much more predictable. You'll sometimes nap in the morning for thirty minutes or an hour, around lunchtime for an hour, and you have a marathon nap in the afternoons around 2:30 which can last anywhere from an hour to two hours.

Eating
Your eating has leveled off a little, too. We're still introducing you to many foods - pretty much anything I eat, you eat - but the amount you eat has lessened a little. You still nurse all the time, though!

Milestones
You finally finally finally said Mama just in the last week or so! Sometimes, it comes out as Baba, but I'll take it! :)
You wave constantly, always waving at the people around you. You even say Bye! You wave in conversation when someone says hi or bye. You also pick up on other favorite words like ball or bunny or dog. You really like balloons - "booln."
That's another new word: bunny. We buy these little cheesey snack crackers that look like bunnies and you'll point to the box and say, "Bulnnie!"
We've also been working on egg, which you say as "gg."
You also said Papa (Grandma Chambers), opa, and nipple. :)

Major Events
We celebrated Easter this month. You took part in your first egg hunt at Daddy's work. We also had a small egg hunt at Papa and Grandma Chambers' house.
You met Uncle Michael's girlfriend, Keeahna. I'm hoping she'll be your aunt one day, but I might also look back on this post in a few years and laugh remembering her.
I suppose since my last post you also celebrated your first Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day.

Reflecting
Looking back on the last eleven months, I cannot believe how much you've changed. It's simply incredible. You laugh at jokes, understand when something's silly, are learning boundaries and responding to discipline, and you get excited about things.
But I also have to reflect on how much I've changed. Gabe, you've changed me for the better. I love the person I am when I'm with you. I hope I can always be patient, joyful, and peaceful for you.

I love you,
Mommy

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Nine Months!

Dearest Gabriel,

You are now nine months and four days old! I simply cannot believe how the time has flown by. I remember when you were first born, and I was overwhelmed and my mom kept telling me that it would get better and better as you got older, but six months, nine months, one year seemed like such long times to wait! And now we're here! And you're almost a big boy! It's so so so bittersweet!

Stats
We had your nine month well baby check up yesterday with Dr. Thomas. You weighed 19.2 pounds and were 27.25" long. You gained a little over two pounds since your six month checkup, but only grew about 3/4 of an inch in lenght, which is okay. You're right around the 50th percentile for your age group, which is spot on.
She also let us know that you are perfect, physically and mentally. You're growing up just as you should. In fact, you're a little advanced (see milestones below).
You're still wearing 6-9 and 6-12 months clothes. You've leveled out a bit.

Sleep
Sleep varies with you so much night to night. Some nights you sleep really well, waking only every four hours or so. But then some nights you wake every two hours, or even every hour and half. Those nights are hard and long. Especially when they add up.
We're okay with your odd night sleep habits, though. We pray every night that you will learn to sleep longer at night, but more that we can be peaceful, joyful, and patient parents in those wee morning hours.
You nap very regularly (see schedule below).

Eating
You eat so much! I cannot believe how much you eat! Most mornings you eat a breakfast of yogurt, oatmeal, and fruit. For lunch, you eat whatever I'm having or a puree or two. For dinner, you eat whatever we're having and usually lots of it! Today, for example, we had Bible Study Fellowship so you just nursed for breakfast. For lunch we shared Chick-Fil-A: chicken noodle soup, fries, and a yogurt parfait. For dinner we had Freebirds: you almost finished half of your own refried bean and cheese quesadilla and cilantro lime rice. You also tried apple juice for the first time and liked it prettty well!
There's not a food I've had in the last three months that you haven't sampled, both because we want you to and because you want to. You love to eat and will try anything. You've yet to spit anything out at us.
Also, you're still nursing full time! I nurse you at least twice overnight, once at 7ish, 9ish, noonish, 3ish, and at bedtime around 8. I don't know how you can eat so much and not be fatter! Haha!
We hit a rocky patch nursing for about a week. You bit me one Sunday and I exclaimed very loudly. That whole week you kept biting and seemed tentative to nurse. It was very traumatic for both of us. But one day you just picked it right back up like nothing happened. Odd. I think you were trying to learn how to nurse while you had the compulsion to bite because you're teething.

Milestones
You started crawling this month! We waited and waited for weeks for you to crawl, and one day (January 14) on your own time, you woke up and decided to crawl. You took off. No patsying around. You're enjoying it more and more. For a long time you would just complain while you crawled to me and cried for me to pick you up. It was endearing. Now you'll crawl around to explore things, but often look back to me for assurance. I don't mind. :)
You're vocabulary has taken off. Apparently, most babies don't talk until around their first birthday, but you have quite the vocabulary. You say: dog (first word), ball (current obsession), bird, book, Dada (referring to Daddy), and Key (Rocky).
You also started clapping and waving just in the last couple of days. So adorable!
You love to play "ball" where you throw the ball and we roll it back to you. Sometimes you prefer to chase the ball yourself now that you're mobile.
You've just started pulling up. We're waiting on the "creeper" stage.
We thought you'd been teething for a while, but no new teeth that we could see beyond the first that I wrote about last month. You've had a lot of the symptoms, though, and we were confused. Dr. Thomas discovered that you're cutting your molars! A little early! Just another way you're advanced! :)

Events
You had your first New Year and slept through it. It's now 2013.
Recently, we joined Gymboree Play and Music. We're taking you to the music class and play class for your age. They also have an open gym time where we can just go play. You LOVE it!
Other than that, not a lot of major events.

I love you more and more every day. You changed my life so much and for the better. I love love love you!
Always,
Mommy